It's been a while...

I haven't posted in a while, mainly because I have been so busy. I am now on Cd72 on the cycle from hell. Not even so much as ovulating. Which, as you know, it is impossible to get pregnant if you don't ovulate. 2 negative blood pregnancy tests and an ultrasound later it has been confirmed that 5 months after my natural miscarriage, I now need a D&C. I know this is what my bd needs to get back on track, but I can't help but think if I had been given a d&c right after the m/c, maybe I would not need one now. So now I am 6 weeks from my due day and in 2 weeks I will be having a d&c.

I switched doctors because I have not been happy with mine since the miscarriage. And now I am glad I did. My new doctor is awesome, he listens to me and my concerns and is taking action. I have either retained tissue or a polyp. Both seem way it there. My HcG levels have been negative since the beginning of December so he says it is unlikely it is retained tissue this much later. But polyp are super rare in people my age (22) but he said he will know during the d&c which it is. April 19th cannot come soon enough, I am ready to put this behind me and get my rainbow! Dr said that I will be on 2 weeks pelvic rest then we can start trying right away and I will be "clean" in there so it will be good conditions for conceiving.

And he wanted DH to get a SA, which I though DH would refuse. But he agreed! We are giving his first "sample" next Wednesday and another 2 weeks later. He will get those results the day after my d&c so we will oth know what we are working with in less than 3 weeks. I really hope there is nothing wrong oth his swimmers. That would just be another thing I need to worry about. My body is doing a good enough job of messing up on its own, we don't need double trouble

I have come to accept 2 things at this point, which were hard to come to terms with. 1. I will most likely not be pregnant by my due date. Unless I ovulate right after my pelvic rest is done. But thats not likely. And 2. I will not be having a baby in 2012. Even if I were to conceive that first cycle, my due date would be in January 2013 so I will not get to hold a new baby of my own in 2012. I never thought I would NOT be pRegnant by my due day or that we would run into so many unforeseen circumstances around conceiving our rainbow. I just want to be normal and have a normal body. It is so had seeing people who miscarried after me getting pregnant and just so many people around me pregnant in general. Life is just not fair sometime but I else's there is not much I can do about that.

Oh how I cannot wait to be pregnant again. Hopefully It will be the first cycle after the d and c we will be expecting our 2013 baby.